Sep 21, 2010

Final Draft of Love of the Spirits

I love this story. It still seems a bit shaky, but at less than 1000 words, I think I did a good job. But I know I have to improve. I wrote this story BEFORE Stormwizard.

Love of the Spirits
By Brandon Markham

To see my wife-sister again, I must kill mama. She’s a Witch, a heathen and enemy of the council, but my love sees beyond that. You are the only one who can Sohma they mocked while beating me, after stealing my love, Zula. Death will not be the worse for your wife if that Witch is not dead by sundown.
Funny how they say I won’t die as well and something in my stomach told me that they knew of my powers. Inheritance, I suppose. The power of the Spirits.
The falling sun took the once azure sky into a cold night as I shifted my cloak and my once glistening bark colored skin toned down, keeping a fastidious eye on the dial. Fifteen minutes, and the council’s dogs were their already, and on one zebu, in an array of chains, Zula sat with her eyes tracing the ground
“ZULA!” I called, but instead of Zula turning to see me, the black faces of my enemies stared.
“Sundown is near, Witch-son. Do not let your love fall with it” One of the pelt clad men said with the other four nodding in agreement. One looked to have other plans, but my plans were already in place. Just thinking about it made thousands of knots in my stomach. More came with the first scream from the small hut ahead. The men stared at me in horror, like I was some kind of monster.
“We knew you had her gift, Witch-son, but…a poison?”
“She would not die any other way. She is a powerful Witch, my mother.”
“And whatever does not kill you, only makes you stronger”
Like a demon in flames, Wadjiine was in the middle of a ring of fire, having engulfed her house in the same fires. “Spirits I thank thee, for your messages of my future”
Divining the Spirits…she saw me-
“You” Mama stopped me in my tracks and I froze to the ground. The five men rose from their great horned cattle, and invisible to the normal eye, took out their spears. Mama wasn’t staring at me, I realized but to the soldiers that were charging at her. Suddenly, a light shrouded her. The power of the Spirits fed her what she wanted, not too much though, as I saw it. With that power, she tore the ground and shaped it into a mouth. A small hole, really a gap, but nonetheless the earth ate two of the soldiers, the other three leapt over the hole like tigers after prey, and they were snaking to Mama. Zula tried to get out of her chains, I saw.
My heart must have sunk into my already sick stomach when I realized a harsh reality. One or the other, one must live…and one must die. I was in the middle of the fight, not far from either…but if I abandoned one…
Closer and closer the soldiers came to my mother. The aura around her glowed brightly, meaning to kill them all, but she would die before that happened. And then Zula…my love. I love them both. The Spirits forgive my crime and witness to my tounge, I do! The soldiers upon reach now, their spears about to drive home in seconds, I Called. The light around me was furious and growing with each second as the spears came closer. There was no time to cast, the Spirits divined to me, but that was not my plan. Mama seemed to know too.
“Sohma! NO!” Even after I tried to kill her, the love in her voice was only stronger.
Heat flared from my body and burned everything around me to ashes. The soldiers were screaming in the quintessence of agony, and I joined them as well as I suffered the consequences of eating too much power. But it worked. When the flames died out, the men laid on top of each other in a blacked mound. I fell over. Mama called for me, begged me to wake up, commanded me to wake up, but I would not obey. Out of love for my mama and Zula, I would not obey.

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